Whatever Comes

 I try to live my life guided by the best intentions. When I was little I watched a lot of television. I grew up on Soap Operas because my Mother watched them. She still does lol. Santa Barbara, Search for Tomorrow, Days of Our Lives and Another World. Girl, Bye! In adulthood I have realized life isn't a scripted serial with plotlines and storyboards.

Although some of my experiences are surreal, for the most part my life has been quite ordinary. I often marveI at my transformation from butterfly to tigress. It didn't happen overnight. I try to remain classy and poised. I always try to take the high road. To maintain myself even when others constantly try to bait me. I just have a zero tolerance for bullshit. I deplore people that are phony. See I wear my heart on my sleeve. My facial expressions immediately indicate how I feel. I take on other people's emotions as well.If someone close to me hurts-then I I hurt as well. Empathy is beautiful, but must be felt in moderation.

In my quest to fulfill my dreams I take daily detours to see the beauty and to enjoy my journey. I LOVE to read. I have read more books than the Nerd in me cares to admit. I used to be less forthcoming about my literary obsession until my Babe started looking at my collection. Each book means something to me, ESPECIALLY the ones my father and I read. We use to read a selection and then recommend it to each other. Those were the days.

Life is almost comical at times. The things that I have experienced in life have prepared me for this leg of my journey. The struggles, successes. Life can be unpredictable too.In this entry there is a picture of my former audiologist Scott Crohn. When I first lost my hearing I was in limbo for a month, Cat Scans, Steroids, MRIs, EVERYTHING. When it finally was determined that my hearing loss was permanent and irreversible, Scott fit me with my first hearing aid. You know I was crying and so was my Mom and my Little Boy. Scott told me that life didn't have to stop it just was going to CHANGE. I worried about my career and Scott assured me that I would succeed regardless of what I was involved in. Originally from Far Rockaway he always loved to hear my take on the state of affairs in our neighborhood. When I received my Cochlear Implant I called Scott to tell him and sadly discovered he passed away on Christmas Day suddenly the prior year. I was heartbroken.  He was so healthy, fit and full of life. His family and friends meant everything to him.

As I have posted previously, writing opens doors that at times we would like to remain closed. Delving into my life and sharing it with the world is so fulfilling to me. It is also frightening. I do it because there is a song inside of my soul. I do it because my story needs to be told. I do it for all the people who signed on to take my journey with me, who believed in me. Who supported and encouraged me. For the ones who no longer are here. I am blessed that I am still here and I will make the most of each day. I vow to embrace whatever  comes.