The Ties that Bind

March 24, 2014

Being a Mother is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. I have a son, David who with God's Grace will be seventeen years old in May. When I gave birth to him the world as we know it was entirely different.

His father was incarcerated when I was four months pregnant and I spent the first nine years of my son's life as a single mother. My parents, sister, grandparents, David's Aunt Malisha and my Aunt Colette helped me in so many ways. My good friends Cherylann and Lakita always made sure no matter what David was good.

As I mature the things that I once prided myself on, always having the latest fashion ensemble, dining out and spending time, money and energy on things that didn't matter have been relegated to the past. I now am content with my refrigerator full, utilities working and although I may sneak in an outfit once in a while my closets are overflowing with the items I purchased from a time when I didn't know my own strength.

Children mimic your habits. Sometimes I look at my son and he acts just like me. I was a happy child. In my teenage years I rebelled and for most of my twenties I felt guilty about it. Then when I finally realized that it was all apart of God's Plan my life took on a new meaning.

One of my son's best qualities is that he doesn't care what people think. Unequivocally loyal, David marches to his own drum. As a child I spoiled David for a number of reasons.  I live vicariously through my son and my nieces. Throughout their lives I have been afforded financial stability and with that came indulgences. Someone once told me I spoiled David because he was my only child. I feel like I have three children and my Sister Courtney does as well.

I suffered a life changing event in 2001. I woke up one cold March day and couldn't hear. As a stellar telephone sales consultant who recently had received a promotion this diagnosis was devastating. David was three years old. After a period of depression, mourning and acceptance I went back to work two weeks before September 11th. I in fact was at Metrotech Center on that fateful morning. Still reeling from my diagnosis I took it upon myself to reinvent myself and dedicated my life to service. I would be the voice for those who cannot speak. To strive to bridge the divide. Everything I do is because I want my son to have the best life that I can possibly offer him.

For an additional ten years I worked a job that wasn't an ideal fit so that my son could live a life most children covet. I sacrificed my health and happiness so that we would never want for ANYTHING. Do I regret it? No. The path I am on is directly guided by The Creator. Is it hard? Yes. My life, my journey is unique and fraught with twists and turns. Motherhood is overwhelming and at times raising a teenage boy is so difficult. My need to protect and nurture must not overshadow his growth and maturity. My son also must respect and honor our bond as mother and son.

One of the reasons I created this blog is because many ask me how I do it all. There isn't any magic formula. It's so HARD sometimes. I am so much to so many and while I am honored the load can be overwhelming at times. Juggling responsibilities, attempting to not only survive but thrive-it's ALOT. If nothing else I speak about resonates with you please take this from what I write-God has a plan for everyone one of us. It is already written. Our stories are unique but we walk this earth as one. These are the ties that bind.