As we go about life trying to accomplish everything we strive for we must take a moment sometimes to stop and smell the roses. I can only speak for myself but it makes Iife so much easier and less stressful. Stepping out on faith and venturing out of your comfort zone are great ways to recharge your soul and invigorate your Iife.
This weekend I went to lunch alone. It was awesome. I love to spend time with people yet Saturday morning everyone I knew had plans. Even though the weather was inclement I was restless. This apartment which I love so much and all the memories and love it holds can be a bit much sometimes.
I also am learning to say NO. I don't care who you are. I am not going to overextend myself for anyone. I have been on a journey for the last four years. I have been trying to raise David right, pursue my dreams and help others. It's a tall order and one I find I am on with few people. That's OKAY. Really. Some people may feel I am "TOO much" for them but the ones who really love me don't feel that way. I know the difference.
I am so thankful that I had the childhood I did. It prepared me in so many ways to deal with the adversity that comes with life. As I mature I realize I had a great childhood. Two loving parents that sincerely cared about their children. An extended family who spent time with each other forging memories, cementing values. It wasn't about possessions or accolades. It was about creating a legacy so that when we are no longer here the traditions and experiences live on. I feel that way every time I use a dish or pot from my Granny. Showing off my tablecloth from Nana, these are priceless treasures.
Do I want fame and fortune? Yes! Subconsciously we all do. But on a attainable level I just wanna be comfortable. I want to own my own home in multiple places. I want to be able to travel and attend all the events that the organizations I belong to invite me to. I want to be able to say YES more too. Being independent has its pros and cons. There are few I can rely on. Yet many can rely on me. That's OKAY. Really.
In the end it will all work out. Many have encouraged me over the years to write. It's been a long road. It began when my mother told me to write a book in fifth grade after I got a perfect score on the NYS Writing Test when I wrote about my Uncle Gregory's death and the effect it had on my father and my family. I have never felt truly ready up until now. I am excited about the journey ahead.
I don't know what the future holds. If it's anything like my past I am in for a wild ride. That's the great part about life, the uncertainty and unlimited possibilities. As long as the people I love and love me are here I am GOOD. I do know one thing writing is an integral part in my pursuit of happiness.
