Life is but a Dream

I haven't posted anything in awhile because well life has had me going in a million different directions. I am BLESSED and highly favored by The Creator and thankful that He chooses to open my eyes each day. My family and the few true friends I have make life truly fulfilling.

I have a lot on my plate as we all do. It is daunting at times trying to juggle it all. Sometimes I feel like no one truly understands how hard it is to live the life that some covet I just try to stay focused and not feed into any negativity that I may encounter.

I am determined to get to where I need to be while I take the time to enjoy the ride. I am determined to succeed professionally because failure isn't an option.  We all may stumble along the way but the path to success is learning from your mistakes.

I also need to worry less and listen more. There is so much knowledge to be gained from others if you are open to let people in. That is my problem I don't trust easily because I have been hurt.

Material things come and go but good people and times are rare so if you are lucky enough to encounter them treasure it.

Summer Breeze

This Summer has been about change. Growth and stepping out of my comfort zone. I don't know if it's because the weather was so inclement last winter but this summer each brand new sunrise feels beautiful. It shows me that no matter what  happened yesterday God allowed me to experience today. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned along the way. At times it may seem as if some of the things we experience are meant to break us but the truth is our trials and tribulations are our greatest lessons.

What I have also realized in earnestness is that life can change in the blink of an eye. We should each appreciate the gift of today and all the beauty and wonder it brings. I am learning to let go and let God lead. everything that happens in our lives is designed by the Creator to reinforce whatever He is trying to teach us. Sometimes the best thing that we can do is just step out of out own way. Love the people that love us back, pray for the people that don't and live each day to the fullest. You only get one life and it should be filled with all the joy your heart can hold.

Dance with my Father

I remember my seventh birthday. July 1984 we just returned from Cleveland. That trip stands out to me because it was one of the rare occasions during my childhood that I actually enjoyed the constant "she looks just like Ronald" that I have "endured" all of my life.


I never expected my father to suddenly pass away. Never did I believe that we weren't going to be together for many years to come. Of course I miss sharing the milestones with him. My mothers strength and resiliency. David and Kazia. David is Daddy fifty years ago-the same walk. I am with Courtney all the time and we hardly ever argue. He would of loved that but then again Samantha plays a big role in that as well.


I know that God's Will is His Way and that my father has prepared a place for me with Our King. As I embark on another milestone, I drift back to my 29th birthday and how Daddy and I danced all night. How the music wasn't the focus but the security and love I received in his arms was. How I was nervous to dance in front of all those people, song after song but my Daddy never let me go.How he spun me around and I felt like we were in the living room dancing in front of the big stereo to "Street Life", "Native New Yorker" or "Careless Whisper".

My father taught me many things. How to tie my shoes, thread a needle and fry chicken just to name a few. He built a volcano for me and came to the Science Fair, practiced with me for the Spelling Bee and Storytelling contests. All those speeches in school I wowed the world with, he was my audience for weeks. I was that great ass representative at Verizon because Daddy practiced bridging to the sale with me until I could sell a blind person a map.

My final gifts to my father are to keep his memory alive to Kayla and all the others that come into our family. Kayla is so sweet and humble. A beautiful child who actually acts at times that she is unaware of her beauty. That makes her even more gorgeous to me.

When I said goodbye to Daddy with Nana and Aunt Jetaun I made a promise to him and God that I would live my life for both of us. I know that at times I can get overwhelmed with the realities of life and forget to be content with the opportunity to experience today. I put other peoples needs ahead of my own. My father knew this way before I acknowledged this.

I miss you Daddy but thank you for guiding me from above. Tell Nana yes I still pick out the best greeting cards after Ronald....xoxo

"Look at this face, I know the years are showing
 Look at this life, I still don't know where I'm going....
 I don't know MUCH but I know I love YOU
 And that may be all I need to know."

Redemption

                                             When I reflect on my memories of life with my late father I remember that my Daddy always took the time to make sure we were alright. Ever since he passed away I have felt as if a piece of me was missing. I am grateful that my Sister and I were able to experience the positive joy of having our Dad in our lives.


                                            As I age I have learned alot of what my Dad was trying to teach me. He always said "to do your best and it was enough". He said "three things in life are non-negotiable-you're born, you die and you have to pay taxes". I love my father so much and as everyone knows I look just like him. It was a curse during his life but in the end it is such a blessing! I miss my father but I know he lived a full life and when it was over he left a legacy of love, laughter and wisdom. My father lives on through our family and I know he guides me from above just like I know my name.
                                         
                                     The only thing I wish was that we had more time. And that we woukd of taken more photographs. I carry him in my heart always and I know one day we will meet again. I love you Daddy and miss you so much. I thank you for teaching me independence and self-worth. For encouraging education and fostering my growth. Even your death taught me that no matter what you do in life good or bad in the end love tells your story and redemption is attainable. Happy Father's Day Daddy xoxo

Happiness Comes from Within

        I took a hiatus with my Blog because as the seasons changed and Summer began to show her presence I needed some time to reconfigure ME. Although born in July I really other than my birthday didn't like Summer but this past winter not only brought frigid temperatures to my region but it was a defining time in my life.

       I have grown so much this year. I have stepped out of my comfort zone and am embracing life and living each day on my own terms. I have issues as we each do. I just choose to live each day aware of the gift that it is. I will not allow anyone or anything to steal my joy or rain or my proverbial parade. Some days or better than others but I am learning that if you don't let negativity in then there isn't any space to plant a root and feed off of your joy.

       I can only speak for myself but life is so much sweeter when you just breathe. I am not a magician and I don't have a recipe for bliss. My family, faith and friends bring me so much joy! God has blessed me in unimaginable ways and He is The Redeemer. I am letting Him lead and I will never again compromise who I AM for anyone again. In order to grow you must take a look at who you are and what you want. I just KNOW that in the end if you do your best it is good enough. My journey has taught me that things and people change-don't dwell on the past or your pain just move on and bring the lesson-because every person you encounter has a lesson to teach you if you just listen to the whispers(in my Oprah voice).

    Dr. Angelou's passing showed me what a life well lived will produce. Did she brag about being the first female African-American conductor? Did she name drop about being in Ghana with Brother Malcolm or being half of "Al & Rita" with Alvin Ailey? Did she boast of orchestrating pivotal events for the Southern Christian Leadership Conference? Did she stunt about marrying a man regardless of his ethnicity when we live in a time where people can't even commit to a relationship exclusively on Facebook. In the end her words will live in infamy and if it is God's Plan mine will also. I just KNOW in order to be the best ME I can be(hey that rhymes) I must let go of my fears, inhibitions and the people, places and things that no longer serve me.

  It amazing how much energy and time we waste on bullshit. At least I DID. Not anymore. Life is too short and I am tired of being tired. Drained from drama and inconsequential nonsense. At the end of the day someone else's opinion of you is none of your concern. I KNOW I am a Phenomenal Woman-that's ME.

Man in the Mirror

     I haven't posted an entry for a while. I am humbled and appreciative that so many find inspiration and strength from my writing. Also from me as a person. My journey although unique is in no way any harder than anyone else. See I have come to realize that God gives everyone exactly what they need, on HIS TIME.

   Life is not a popularity contest. What others think of you is none of your concern. You only get one life and each day is a gift. I cannot emphasize that enough. Don't waste it on nonsense and pointless bullshit. Just live life with the best intentions and a kind heart. Embrace the good and block out the negativity. At the end of the day God is The Author of your entry in The Book of Life and He sees all. Be a blessing in some one's life today starting with your own.

Fearless and Authentic

              So much has happened in my life since my last entry. No matter what I am going through I still find the strength to keep going. I have to. Although it's hard I MUST. When I started this Blog it was meant to inform, enlighten and entertain. I also created it as an outlet for my need to write on a continuous basis.

             As I travel along life I am learning valuable lessons. One thing that I have come to know is that joy can be found in the most unconventional places. All you have to do is be open to it. It can be found in the little things.


            Every one is going through something. Class, race, gender, socio-economic distinction in no way determines what fate or lot we are dealt in life. Look at the Carters. They are going through the motions just like everyone else. And everyone is in their business. Just like everyone else.
       

         The main reason why I respect and admire Jay-Z is because he didn't let his upbringing and the circumstances in which he was born into define him. He is a man, nothing less but more in many ways. That he is known in Far Rockaway and in France.I don't know the specifics of the latest incident but I do know the logistics of family quarrels and at the end of the night it usually ends in a diner unless you can afford to call a restaurant owner and wake him up to make you some eggs.....


                  Spring has sprung and for me a new Kim has emerged. All the dedication, loyalty and love I hold in my heart is pure. See I don't have an agenda. I just try to make a way for as many as I possibly can. I am also not selfish. I used to be selfish, I admit that. You end up alone with materialistic things.

                 With God's Grace I will turn 37 years old this Summer. I
 Thank God I don't look like what I have been through. Social media has gotten a lot of people screwed up. We are not just filtering our pictures, we are filtering our lives. Misconstrued and twisted realities.  I am thankful for every test, every lesson and all the knowledge that my trials and tribulations have given me.

              Let go and let God. Be still and leave your heart and mind open to your blessings. At the end I used to dread going to work. Not like we all do at times but I knew that it wasn't what I needed to do any longer. God knew it to. I help people. I always have but now I do it on a regular basis. A young man I mentor in my neighborhood just got a great job and the joy in his eyes when he told me let me know I am exactly where I need to be.